Sister Lindberg in Mississippi: Hello From Seattle from "The White Gladys Knight" 1/3/2017

Seriously y'all. It's been raining hard core for 3 days straight.

Also, my new nickname in the Hburg zone is "The White Gladys Knight"

I sang a solo for Zone Training Meeting last week and everyone loved it so.. new nickname!

These past two weeks have been filled with lots of deep thinking and self evaluation. As I thought about what my family said during our Skype on Christmas about how my companions have been and how I have been feeling, I realized something about the whole situation. I have been expecting to be miserable with some of the situations. And so I was. I have made myself miserable and looked for ways others were "trying" to offend me. And it has made me feel truly miserable and lonely thinking of how great it would be once X situation was over.

As I was reading a talk this week, I came across a statement that made me really think. It talked about how some go through life looking to be offended. This sits on their skin, like boils just bound to be bumped. They get offended and further slip into a slump.

I realized how much I have been like that these past months. I had a rough patch during month 3 and though I claim to have "gotten over it" I haven't truly gotten over it. Sister Mitchell helped me to realize this as well. We were sitting one evening talking. It started out as a conversation about how sad and anxious she felt at getting close to going home. It then developed into a conversation about how I feel my mission is going. The incidents regarding Sister Carter, Sister Fa' ulao and others got brought up. I told her how much pain it caused me and how miserable I was feeling like no one wanted me here. I told her how I just needed to talk to someone about it. I haven't had anyone to talk to that I felt like I could just tell them how I felt and them not have any conflict of interest or have to worry about them thinking less of me for feeling that way, or that they would get me in trouble for how I felt. I kind of just spilled everything and she just sat and listened. Then she asked me something that I have tried to ignore. "Have you truly forgiven and moved on?" I realized that no. No I hadn't truly let it all go. I had forgiven, partially at least. But I was still holding onto the pain and the walls that I built were still up. We both sat down and wrote down any feelings, thoughts, concerns, past pains, whatever. Sister Mitchell had some things she was holding onto from the past with others as well. Then we burned them and let them go.

I know it might sound ridiculous, but it felt so good.

While I was writing them down, I started writing how I felt the situations came to be. Then I began to realize, as the Spirit nudged at my heart, that I needed to be better too. I needed to let it go. I needed to see the weaknesses of others and realize that I had some as well. I am not perfect. No one is.

Sister Mitchell and I then set goals to make ourselves better. Charity is the underlying focus of the three goals we set. I need to be better at having charity.

I also need to be more positive and see the sunshine! I love this quote from President Hinckley in the RS lesson on Sunday.

"I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we “accentuate the positive.” I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort."

and this one

“Cynics do not contribute, skeptics do not create, doubters do not achieve "

I think it is something we can all do. Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight!

A positive attitude can change any experience into a positive one!

Along with the other deep learning I have experienced this week is the Gospel Principle lesson. We were talking about the Council in Heaven and how the war still rages today. Sister Abel said something I had never thought about. Those 1/3 of the hosts of Heaven that followed Satan didn't pass through the veil. They didn't need to. They weren't receiving a body. So they don't have the veil between their knowledge and memory of what went on.

They knew us. We were their friends and associates. They knew our testimonies. Our desires. Our personality. And they still do. They know us. They remember us. And they are using that knowledge against us.

It made me stop and think about what I could have been like then and how they are using it against me. How can I prevent them from having any success? I read my patriarchal blessing and thought about the insight it gives me into what I was like and how I still am like it today. I then thought about how great a mission I am on in this life to fulfill all that I promised to do. Sister Abel taught us about how the Saviour did all He promised He would do. Now it's our turn.

Are we keeping our promises. Are we doing all that we said we would. How can we do better?

It makes me feel so powerful to know that I am working on limited knowledge, but that I have God and the Lord on my side. That 1/3 may have knowledge I don't, but in the end, the 2/3 is going to triumph. We are going to defeat them. I am so grateful for the knowledge I do have and the knowledge we have been given by prophets through the ages. You're going down you body-less spirits. You chose the wrong side.

Go forth and fight!!

Also. Not meant to be a side note. This is just the last thing I have to talk about. Dianne is getting baptized this Saturday! She and I are besties and she plans to continue talking to me long after I leave the area. I am going to give her my phone number so she can call me even when I'm home.

She prayed the other night. A miracle, since she hasn't been willing to pray in front of us at all. Anyways, she prayed and said "thank you for the missionaries, especially this one (me) I love her so much God. Even when her bubbly personality is a lot, she is still amazing. Thank you for sending her to me."

Literal tears were shed that night. I am so grateful for Dianne!

She has come so far. She is a 30 year old mother. She has given birth to 5 children, only 4 are still living (one past away shortly after his birth in July) and she doesn't have custody of any of them.

She spent time in prison for misdemeanors. She is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. And on top of it all, she has severe anxiety and depression. But she is glowing now. She is so amazing! If all people could be like unto Dianne, the very foundations of hell would shake. Or something like that.

Bottom line is that she is incredible. And we are best friends.