How Do You Measure A Year? 2/13/2017

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure - measure a year?

In sunrises - in sunsets
In prayers - in converts
In people met - in smiles
In laughter - in strife

In - five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life

In truths that she learned
Or in times that she cried
In changes she made
Or the ways that she tried

It's been a whole year since I hugged my beautiful family goodbye and walked away to begin this adventure. A whole year. 

And what a year it has been! As I was writing in my journal on the 10th, my year mark, I thought back on what this year has contained. Here are just a few:

- 5 people enter the waters of baptism. 5 fabulous people that have become my best friends and taught me so much. 

- 3 areas leaving their impact on  me

- 7 companions teaching and helping me to grow

I wish I had all my planners near me to tell you the number of lessons, hours tracting, hours of service, etc. 

I am eternally grateful for the lessons I have learned and the growth I have been able to see in myself. I can't express to you how beautifully blessed these past 12 months have been. Admittedly there were bumps along way, some bigger than others, but in the end, I can look back and see the long road I have traveled. All the while with my Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ right by my side. I have not walked this path alone. I have been carried along by Him. By my wonderful parents, my loving siblings/bodyguards, and countless friends, neighbors and ward members. I am so grateful for that knowledge. 

There was something that my previous companion, Sister Mitchell, said that has stuck with me. As I was sitting on the couch, pouring out my soul and telling her how I had been feeling for 3 months or more, she looked me in the eyes and said, "You are trying to do this alone. Sister Lindberg, even the Saviour didn't have to suffer alone." 

He didn't. And neither do we. He is right there along with all our loved ones. 

No matter what storms are raging around us, whether they be every day storms of opposition or something bigger. Squaring your shoulders against the  "Let's put the Mormons down" mindset that everyone seems to have. The battle against Satan and his unrelenting angels of darkness. Or whatever. 

We don't have to fight it alone. 

We can't fight it alone. 

We have to let Him help us. 

As I was writing in my journal during one especially hard day last week, I heard a soft voice say to me, "Brittany. When are you going to let me help you?" 

It was then that I have truly been doing this alone. Not that He wasn't there. I just wasn't letting Him in to help. I was trying to go to battle against countless members of the opposing team. All by myself. With limited armor. I imagine He was right there by my side. Just waiting for me to allow Him to take charge and ward them off like only He can. 

Our Saviour loves us so much. And He wants to help us. But He isn't going to force us to access His help. That is up to us to decide. 

This week I discovered what a hippie my companion is.  

She has been suffering from allergies that she didn't know she had. Her nose is constantly running and she is almost constantly sneezing. I suggested her taking some allergy medicine. She responded as such, "I don't take medicine. I use oils. They are God's way of helping us. I don't want to pollute my body." 

She is so funny. She has been rubbing peppermint, on guard, and all sorts of stuff on her nose to help it stop. Sadly, nothing is really helping. The Zyrtec is just waiting in the cupboard. 

She is awesome though. Like when she sang me songs while we hid in the closet hiding from the tornado that came through on Tuesday. It hadn't touched down yet, but it was raging right above us so Sister Arroyo, Bishop's wife, told us to get in the closet with the things that were important to us, our helmets, shoes, keys, and some water and food. It turned out to be nothing, but it helped us bond as we sang hymns together. And it helped me realize what is truly important to me. My journals. My scriptures. And Grandma's necklace.

I love this mission of mine. I will forever treasure the experiences I am having. I can't wait to tell y'all all about it in 6 months! 

Modern Day Korihors/Sherems and Power Lifting! 2/6/2017

The world is crazy y'all. In ward council yesterday we were told that 3 members have had their names removed from church records after listening to a guy. He apparently sounds just like an apostle or leader of the Church would sound. He begins his talks building upon what you already know, but by the end of the talk, he has left you shattered on the floor with huge questions about the Church. One of his big things is that he tells you to just have your attorney send a letter to Church headquarters, because any questions to your bishop with result in discipline. So basically he takes away the opportunity to receive counsel from your leaders. So sad to hear about. And maddening. Satan is workin overtime to get God's children down to hell. 

This past weekend we got the opportunity to serve those affected by the tornadoes. It was such a good outlet for stress relief. I got to do some heavy lifting and throw some heavy pine logs and get out all that stress. Also, it made me think of when we all banded together after the windstorm in 2011. It felt really good! Brother Gwin, one of the members of our ward that was also helping out, was laughing and said "Sister! Were you a power lifter before you came out?!" He even went so far as to tell the Ward Council about it! So funny! I told him my Dad raised me right. 

The poor families in the area of the tornadoes are in need of so much help. We helped at 3 different houses. The first involved cutting down trees that were leaning, and then cutting those up and hauling them to the trailer to be driven to the road. The people were so kind! They were so grateful for the help in cleaning up, and we were happy to help them! We got to spend a couple hours there helping them, and then moved on to a different house about 2 miles away. They needed a HUGE tree cut up into more manageable pieces. It was a HUGE tree! We ended up calling the Bobcat over and getting a Brother from the Oak Grove ward to drive the pieces off to the road. Sweet family that prayed with us and told us they would pray for us, their angels. 

The last house was in the neighborhood that got hit the hardest here in Hattiesburg. I will send pictures of some of the devastation. Sadly, this was one of the neighborhoods where someone was killed. A older woman that was in bed when the tornado hit. She got trapped under the debris and couldn't be reached. The houses in the area are missing roofs, and on some, even parts of the house. 

We got to help two older woman pick up their yard and cut up their deck that was demolished when the tree that it was surrounding got uprooted. I got to do some more heavy lifting and haul the huge pieces of the deck off to the road. One of the disaster relief people was there surveying the area for what was still needed and helped out. He was amazed at how much I was lifting. Again I said my Dad raised me right and taught me the value of hard work and how to love it. My Mom did as well, just not in the same way. 

I ended up getting cut by one of the rusty nails from the deck. No worries. I am fine. 

As for the stress, I am doing better. There is still an almost constant stress, but it is lessened. I am focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and taking deep breaths. Both Sister Olson, the mission president's wife, and my Mom told me something that is helping. Let go of what you can't control. Just say a prayer, take a deep breath and let it go.

I am trying to focus on that and work with the Lord to see the good and the blessings that are coming from this. Please just pray for me. I am focusing on the task at hand, even when it is hard to get out of bed in the morning, I know that the Lord is there helping me.

My new companion is Sister Allred. She is from Centerville, UT. We are both very alike, and we are only finding more ways we are similar. She so kind and wonderful. I already knew her to some degree because she was in the zone when I got here, so we had that going for us. We are working together to do what The Lord wants for us and for this area. I am learning to work with her quirks and she is learning how to work with mine. 

When you see this on the mailbox of the house you just go done knocking on.  NO, they aren't members.  Yes, I did go back up to the door and ask them:

This house was across from all the ones that were destroyed....somehow it was untouched.

In Humility 1/30/2017

I think it is time I finally be humble. I have been experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety for quite some time. Like almost constant heart racing, hand shaking, panic mode, high stress.  I have been keeping this to myself because... I honestly don't know, there are a lot of reasons. 

-Not wanting to look weak. 

-Not wanting to burden you with yet another problem

-Wanting to finally be the sunny person I used be again

-Trying to figure it out myself

Whatever the reason may be, I finally broke and told Sister Mitchell through tears how I had been feeling. We had to take a minute at the apartment so that I could cry it out to get to a place where I could go back out and work. I'm sorry if it sounds like I am complaining again. I know you have had to listen to a lot of my problems over the past year. I know. I really have had wonderful times too! 

But I need your prayers right now. 

Some of the things that come to mind as I think about have been stressing me out are 

-questions about the Restoration, brought on by the adversary. I know and bear testimony that this message is true. I don't doubt it. But the adversary is trying to get me to. And that stresses me out. A lot. He knows what he is doing. If he can just get me to question that message, it all crumbles. I am trying my hardest to face the wind, dig in and be tough, but my resolve is slipping. 

-the prospect of training. People keep joking that I am training. And that makes me freak out. I know that I am not put together enough myself to keep myself going, much less supporting a brand new missionary. 

-The demands of missionary work. This one is something all missionaries have to cope with. There is a book that we are given that helps "Adjusting to Missionary Life" This booklet has a section that goes over the 4 levels of stress. 

Green- you're good. 

Yellow- you're stressed. you are fine. try to relax and get back to green.

Orange- yep you're stressed. Get help

Red- you need help. Tell your mission president right away so he can help you.

Now obviously those aren't the exact descriptions, but you get the picture. I am a little embarrassed to admit this, because it is prideful of me, but I have been at a mid yellow/orange level for most of the past three months since I left Ocean Springs. At times, I have been pushed into the red zone. But I haven't been able to return to the green level.

I have been trying to figure it out myself, but it isn't working. The stress level is only rising. 

It seems like everything stresses me out even more. Here is how part of my day usually goes...

Stressing out about what will happen with transfers, then remember that I could be training, then panic, try to relax by reading the Book of Mormon, adversary creeps in with questions as to whether this all could even be true, stress shots through the roof that I am even thinking that, feel like a basket case for feeling so stressed. 

I am a mess. I have called Sister Olson to talk to her about it, she hasn't answered or called back yet. Probably tied up with transfers. I emailed President Olson, just sent it so he hasn't seen it yet. 

Pray for me. That's all I think you can do. 

Anyway. This week has been good. Christan got baptized on Friday! She has come so far from the down trodden, smoking, fragile girl she was 3 months ago when I got here. 

Then Elder Holland came and blew us all away with his powerful speaking. He told us we are an amazing mission and taught us how to teach better by going to the person's level. Then he pounded on the pulpit as he told us never to fall away from the church when we get home. It was very powerful!

On the ride to Clinton (I got to go back to Clinton!!) I got to talk to Sister Thompson! Then the whole way back! She is awesome! Love her so much!

I am staying in Purvis another transfer. I get to continue to work with the fabulous people I have met here and to support Dianne and Christan in their new life as members. 

I love you all! Hope you have a fabulous week!